Sunday, December 11, 2005

Christmas Card


I received a Christmas card from the one who loves me the most probably in the world. It was just a few days after I cried in spite of myself while talking to her on the phone. It was an accident. I was telling what had been happening to me at work. I wasn't sad. I was just frustrated deeply.

She made a deep sigh and told me not to blame myself. I wasn't sure what my feelings were.
I was spitting out my pent-up discontent, which was rather dissatisfaction with the fairness of the system.

I have confidence in my work, and am valued for my ability. However, emotionally, it seems that I can't go on any longer. Have I had it enough? I can't stop asking myself that quetion.
It is like that I'm stuck in a dull place and going round and round in there.

I know that nobody can solve my problems.
Maybe, I need to take my time to think about it and my future.

It was also true that I felt a little bit better after emotinal release by crying.
And I renewed my awareness of the fact that there is always someone who cares about me.
That makes me believe I'm not alone. That makes me believe I'm going to have a great Christmas and the end of the year.